Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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