took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
