Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I look better un-naked...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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