I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
3pm strippers are depressing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
