Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
