Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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