I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize