Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
