If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
