I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
