I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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