Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
