$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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