Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
