So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize