Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
