SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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