Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
