Where is the hickey?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
