you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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