i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
