You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
