My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
