I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
as a side note pls kill me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize