I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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