Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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