pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
