these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
