Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
