I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
