Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
