Well apparently he's into motor boating.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
