I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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