I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
