your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
