WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize