If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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