if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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