that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
