New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize