Screwed.edu
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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