Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
