Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
