You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
