Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
