just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
