i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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