I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
