I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
