It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
