Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
