Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
