Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
nutella sex= disaster
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
