I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
