And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
