My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
