And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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