go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
