The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
