She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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