In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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