would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
