Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
