So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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