I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
