wat bout pragnant strippers??
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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