so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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